Talking
About Running for President
I think I should run for president.
I could get you a job and pay your rent.
I could be the opponent from hell.
I’d have hoards of well-wishers wishing me well.
Well… It could happen.
To get to the people that I’m trying to reach,
I’d have to work up a really good stump speech.
On some topic where I couldn’t be stumped.
To get my supporters totally pumped.
My platform would be……… BEER!
Now a lot of people might not vote for beer.
But there are more than a few of us that hold it dear.
I’d probably have to throw in staying up late.
So I wouldn’t be a one issue candidate.
I could show the two-party system how to party!
Now in order to be a serious bidder
There are a couple of things I would have to consider.
Demographics and popular trends,
Promises to voters and rewards to friends.
I could promise not to invade anyone else’s country.
Now the one thing that I have going, for me,
Is this quality of electability.
Put my charming face up in the light,
And people would just assume that I’m right.
Kind of a combination of Johnny Depp and Mahatma Gandhi, Albert Einstein
and the kid next door.
I’m choosing tonight to announce my run.
The year ahead should be a lot of fun.
If I could get on Leno, it could start off as funny.
But that only works if you already have money.
Ah-nold I’m not, so get out your checkbooks. Dig deep.
